Falling in LOVE

On December 29^th, after our fourth date and Brian’s return home to Bonnyville, I had time to share some of this new dating experience with my brother Robb and his wife Melissa. Robb read this little Celtic prayer for me. I was more than a little freaked out seeing as how it used the word LOVE. Robb was very cool to suggest that I substitute in whatever language I might need, to have it be a present experience and a future reality. 

On January 4^th Brian took a risk and used the “L” word on the phone, I took a risk of my own by trying not to freak out and so I shared this prayer with him. Our story then started in on yet another new chapter entitled “How long until Christy returns the “L” word?” It didn’t take as long as I thought and I give this prayer partial credit!

Enjoy, adapt and ponder….

Celtic Blessing for Falling in Love

"Bless this thing that sparks like lightening

That burns like fire

That radiates like the inside of the first moment of the cosmos

In this awakening love may there always be

courtesy and respect

trust and courage

tenderness and truth.

Take from it all that destroys and is willful

Give to it all that lasts and is selfless

That the one may wither and the other may grow strong

And shine forever.

God bless this one whom I feel such love for.

May I never cheapen this love

May I never use the other just to gratify my appetites

May I always be there for the other

May this love be like a flower that slowly opens up to reveal its full beauty

May I offer my beloved a heart of valor, restraint, and service."

(Celtic Blessings: Prayers for Everyday Life--Compiled by Ray Simpson, 1999)

Hey Pretty Girl

“Life's a long and winding ride, better have the right one by your side.

And happiness don't drag its feet, time moves faster than you think.”

- Hey Pretty Girl lyrics by Kip Moore.

So, apparently I’m growing in my appreciation of Country music. Thanks to a farmer from Bonnyville. Now. Just to clarify. It’s not that I necessarily ENJOY country music, but I DO enjoy this amazing journey with a man named Brian Phillip Hesson. So. I have listened to this 42, never been married, farmer/welder/paintball field owner/high school football coach, uncle to 15, spin me tunes every night since our first phone call. And boy, are there some gooders.

I first learned of his spirituality through “The River” by Garth Brooks. I learned of his perspective on vows and marriage through “I Do” by Paul Brandt and “True Believers” by Darius Rucker. He shared about his relationship with his dad through “A Father’s Love” by High Valley. I learned about his thoughts on having children thanks to Gord Bamford’s “My Daughter’s Father” and Rodney Atkins’ “Watching You.” I learned of his thoughts about me in relation to his past through “The Broken Road” by Rascal Flats and another by Garth, “Unanswered Prayers.” I learned about his present joys and future hopes with Blake Shelton’s “God Gave Me You;” Kip Moore’s “Hey Pretty Girl;” and Deric Ruttan’s “That’s How I Wanna Go Out.”  

I hear about songs which make him think of me, fight for me, smile with me, and shed a tear for me. Aaron Lines’ “Close” and “You Can’t Hide Beautiful;” Brad Paisley’s “She’s Everything;” Keith Urban’s “Put You in a Song;” Tim McGraw’s “It’s Your Love” and “Don’t Take the Girl;” Uncle Kracker’s “Smile;” Lonestar’s “I’m Already There;” and Rascal Flatts’ “I Won’t Let Go.”

The song that I request most often these days, as it relates to how I feel about him and our experience together thus far (timing of all this craziness and my experience of the love of God through him) is Paul Brandt’s “When You Call My Name.”

Yup. I guess I’m kinda getting into country music. Five bucks says I’ll be listening to it for the rest of my life. I have a ring on my finger that says so. First phone call on November 22. First date on December 22. First kiss on December 28. First proposal on January 28. First wedding – this summer sometime. First home in Bonnyville – after the honeymoon sometime. WOW. How many first’s can one girl handle in a year? Only the good Lord knows that! SURELY there’s a country song about that! 

Be Yourself

Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself. This simple phrase about living authentically has been echoing in and around the hallways of my life journey these last months. As I read certain authors, participate in prayer classes, converse with friends, old and new alike, and sit in contemplative silence late at night, I hear these words…be yourself. Be Christy Joyce Penner. Be you. Not your vocation, your reputation, your image, your writing, your persona. Neither your successes or failures; your insecurities or victories; your dashed hopes or new dreams. Be yourself. Who you are is…enough. Be yourself.

I have a friend, Cam, who has been struggling with his health for over two years now, all sorts of symptoms and experiences that have been baffling his ‘Dr. House-esque’ diagnostic doctor. They have finally landed on a condition that may explain the majority of his symptoms and the treatment, over a course of time, may provide healing and restoration. The condition is called ‘hemochromatosis’ and involves ridiculously high levels of iron and ferritin in his blood which build up in his organs and can cause scarring and all sorts of other high-risk complications. His treatment? Phlebotomy. In the Greek this means ‘to cut a vein,' which Cam prefers to label as ‘bloodletting.’ Cam now joins the statistics club of ‘The 1 in 200’ with this particular genetic condition. His current treatment program involves losing a litre of blood a week. As his iron and ferritin levels start to stabilize, the bloodletting will be less frequent and his blood will become usable for Canadian Blood Services.

My friend Cam is in the process of becoming a ‘mandated blood donor for life.’ His regular donating will become the healing for others. By being himself, he will be providing healing for others. What he himself needs for healing and restoration will become restorative for others. Just by being himself. Literally by giving of himself, his very own blood.

Be yourself. What a novel thought. What if the process of becoming yourself, becoming more ‘fully human,’ (and in Cam’s case, more fully healthy) became the means of grace, not only for yourself but also for all those around you? What if the giving of yourself, as you are, became the means of restoration and hope for another? Could your relationships and encounters become a doorway into an encounter with healing, with even the Divine? Could life be more about ‘being’ than ‘doing?’ I suppose even Jesus might have a few thoughts on the matter. Aha! How does that verse from the book of Hebrews go? “Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” No hope. No healing. True? Is this really the process?  

At this stage, after 4 treatments, Cam is choosing to trust the process. At this stage, at the age of 37, I am also choosing to trust the process. Bloodletting. Healing. Being.