Be Yourself

Be yourself. Be yourself. Be yourself. This simple phrase about living authentically has been echoing in and around the hallways of my life journey these last months. As I read certain authors, participate in prayer classes, converse with friends, old and new alike, and sit in contemplative silence late at night, I hear these words…be yourself. Be Christy Joyce Penner. Be you. Not your vocation, your reputation, your image, your writing, your persona. Neither your successes or failures; your insecurities or victories; your dashed hopes or new dreams. Be yourself. Who you are is…enough. Be yourself.

I have a friend, Cam, who has been struggling with his health for over two years now, all sorts of symptoms and experiences that have been baffling his ‘Dr. House-esque’ diagnostic doctor. They have finally landed on a condition that may explain the majority of his symptoms and the treatment, over a course of time, may provide healing and restoration. The condition is called ‘hemochromatosis’ and involves ridiculously high levels of iron and ferritin in his blood which build up in his organs and can cause scarring and all sorts of other high-risk complications. His treatment? Phlebotomy. In the Greek this means ‘to cut a vein,' which Cam prefers to label as ‘bloodletting.’ Cam now joins the statistics club of ‘The 1 in 200’ with this particular genetic condition. His current treatment program involves losing a litre of blood a week. As his iron and ferritin levels start to stabilize, the bloodletting will be less frequent and his blood will become usable for Canadian Blood Services.

My friend Cam is in the process of becoming a ‘mandated blood donor for life.’ His regular donating will become the healing for others. By being himself, he will be providing healing for others. What he himself needs for healing and restoration will become restorative for others. Just by being himself. Literally by giving of himself, his very own blood.

Be yourself. What a novel thought. What if the process of becoming yourself, becoming more ‘fully human,’ (and in Cam’s case, more fully healthy) became the means of grace, not only for yourself but also for all those around you? What if the giving of yourself, as you are, became the means of restoration and hope for another? Could your relationships and encounters become a doorway into an encounter with healing, with even the Divine? Could life be more about ‘being’ than ‘doing?’ I suppose even Jesus might have a few thoughts on the matter. Aha! How does that verse from the book of Hebrews go? “Without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” No hope. No healing. True? Is this really the process?  

At this stage, after 4 treatments, Cam is choosing to trust the process. At this stage, at the age of 37, I am also choosing to trust the process. Bloodletting. Healing. Being.