Drops Like Blood

Just started reading CS Lewis - 'The Problem of Pain' - first quote on first page he offers is from George MacDonald - "The Son of Man suffered unto the death, not that men might not suffer, but that their sufferings might be like His."

Just finished a quick read last night of Rob Bell's new book - 'Love Wins'. Yup - that one, the controversial one.

Have quite a few thoughts percolating, not sure what to do with them all. This week we are creeping ever near the eve of our Lord's death - of his suffering and I am trying to make sense of a few events and situations. I am trying to understand the upside down kingdom, the reality of pain - in the lives of those around me, near and far, and I am trying to understand our Lord's sufferings.

As if I could ever understand. Empathy is not high on my 'Strength's Finder' test anymore - I think maybe 10-15 years ago it was but I have become a tad more cynical since then, a trifle more skeptical and I suspect, a bunch more critical. I want things to be easy, simple, I want to avoid conflict and disappointment. I don't want to think about another's pain, another's misfortune, another's grief. Sometimes its too much. Sometimes when I think too much about another's pain, I want to cry, I want to make it all better, I want to solve all the problems.

When I think of our Lord's sufferings, when I truly enter in, when I sit in Gethsemane, with my back against a tree and try not to fall asleep, when I hear his wretched cry, when I see the 'drops like blood,' when I hear the voices and footsteps of the approaching gang....I freeze, I hesitate, I desert, I deny.

When I think of our Lord's sufferings, when I do actually take time to ponder, to contemplate, to reflect, I'm glad I do. I learn, I cry, I still want to make it all better, but sometimes I let Him make it all better, I let Him lead me back to those places and people, I let him take the pain, and I am humbled.

I don't know much about heaven or hell or the fate of all who ever lived - I'm wondering about what Bell knows or about what Lewis knows. This Easter season, I'd like to spend some time wondering about what Jesus knows...once again, that verse from Hebrews - 'for the joy set before him, endured the cross....'

May it be a Good Friday for all.